Dolly Parton ‘Isn’t Even Thinking’ About Romance Following Tragic Loss of Longtime Love Carl Dean

This has been a big year for Dolly Parton. Her beloved theme park, Dollywood, turned 40. Her Imagination Library, which provides free books to kids around the world to support early literacy, turned 30. Dolly: A True Original Musical officially premiered in Nashville on Aug. 8. And she’s preparing for her first Las Vegas residency, Dolly: Live in Vegas, in December.

“I live on spiritual and creative energy. I want to make things happen,” she says in a conversation with RuPaul for Marie Claire, of what keeps her motivated. “I believe that I would be sinning if I didn’t make the most of everything I feel God has given me to work with.”

But in the midst of all of her milestones, she’s been privately dealing with the biggest one of all: the loss of her husband of nearly 60 years, Carl Dean, in March. “I’m doing better than I thought I would,” the country great told Knox News just two weeks after his death, noting that he “suffered a great deal” from various health issues.

“I’m at peace that he’s at peace, but that don’t keep me from missing him and loving him,” she shared. “He’ll always be with me.”

Now, she has no choice but to start over at 79. “So, I’m going to have to relearn some things,” the “I Will Always Love You” singer says. “It’s a hole in my heart, you know, but we’ll fill that up with good stuff.”

So far, the good stuff hasn’t included any new songs, aside from “If You Hadn’t Been There,” a ballad she released in tribute to Carl three days after his death.

“There are several things I wanted to start but I can’t do it. I’ve got so many other things [going on] and I can’t afford the luxury of, you know, of getting that emotional right now,” she says of her stunning decision about writing new songs. “I’m just putting that all on hold.”

She’s taking things one day at a time. “One thing Dolly’s good at is putting on a happy front, but behind closed doors it’s been difficult for her,” says an insider. “She’s trying to stay busy and she’s keeping in touch with friends, and that’s helping a little. But it’s still raw. They were together for so long.”

Despite rumors of an open marriage — and her own admission that she is a “flirt” — she was always faithful to Carl. “I hadn’t intended to marry, but you know how love goes,” says Dolly in the biography Dolly, who was 18 when she met Carl at a laundromat on the day she moved to Nashville to launch her music career. Two years later, in 1966, they wed.

“We’re really proud of our marriage. It’s the first for both of us, and the last.”

Their secret to happiness? Carl supported her career wholeheartedly — but never wanted anything to do with it. After attending one awards show with her, the year they were married, “he said, ‘Now I want you to do great, but don’t you ever ask me to go to another one of these damn things cuz I ain’t going,’” she recalls on Khloé Kardashian‘s Khloé in Wonder Land podcast. “And I knew right then that I’m just going to keep him private as best I can. I have to be out in the public and I belong to the public. But I am such a private person, and my husband was, as well.”

They were both so comfortable together, they didn’t even have to talk sometimes. It will be difficult to find that level of compatibility again, acknowledges the source. “Carl was the one and only for her.”

Still, her friends are hoping she’ll eventually want to get out there and date again. “She has so much spirit in her to be single, and there are plenty of fellas out there who would love to take her out, and not just in Nashville,” says the insider. “She’s universally admired and has always loved men, and no one can see her living out the rest of her days completely alone.”

The singer, who famously modeled her exaggerated look on the “town tramp,” has never been ashamed of seeking intimacy. “I’ve always had an open mind about sex,” she says in the book Dolly on Dolly: Interviews and Encounters With Dolly Parton. “I always loved sex. I never had a bad experience with it. I was just very emotional. To me, sex was not dirty. It was somethin’ very intimate and very real.”

Someday she may crave connection like that again, “but she’s not even thinking about it yet,” says the insider.

For now, Dolly is letting her faith guide her. “I’ll wake up tomorrow and I’ll see whatever God has in mind,” she told Khloé. “I’ve got to finish things I’ve already got in the works, and I know God’s going to give me something else. Every new day brings on new things. There are always new dreams.”